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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in temet nosce's LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 13th, 2017
7:34 pm
reminder to myself.
Songwriting is your passion. This is a reminder, because you felt it strongly today. You know what to do, so you just need to get to work and realize your purpose. Finish your lyrics, record and share them online; maybe you'll find people and start a band, and get it right this time. Who knows, but you can just let that journey unfold. Just focus on what you need to do. The rest will follow as it is meant to.
Wednesday, January 11th, 2017
9:27 pm
I will probably be slowing down on journal entries, and placing more focus on getting shit done. This is not to say that I won't be posting at all are go back to not posting for months at a time, I'm just not going to hold myself up to the standard of journaling every day. I'm feeling that what I can learn about myself by sitting in front of the computer without preconceived thoughts and journaling has exhausted itself, at least for now.

I really want to concentrate on song lyrics. I need to put some songs to bed, and I'm a little scared that could take a whole year. I'm finding the longer I let a song go the harder it is to set lyrics to it. It is best to pound them out right away. I find through songwriting, especially the lyrics, I learn more about myself.
Monday, January 9th, 2017
10:36 pm
Hard to believe I skipped three whole days without journaling. Almost skipped today, too.

I haven't gotten much done the last few days, although I've felt somewhat busy. I would have journaled Saturday night but the church wifi was out, and I only had my phone with me. I wanted to finish unSpun before the book club meeting last night, so I plowed through it. I was at church Saturday night because there was an emergency "Room At The Inn" stay for some homeless men due to the snow and ice and cold weather, and they needed two men to stay the night, so I agreed to help.

Book club meeting was OK, but it was hard to get a word in most of the time, and I just feel like I'm in a different place. All the other guys, so they say, are bracing for the disaster of a Trump presidency whereas I'm kind of looking forward to it, especially to see how he handles Syria and pro-militarism in general. But at this point I'm an anti-capitalist anarchist; it's the only sensible stance to take. The monetary system is a silly game we play with each other, with real consequences. All basic necessities are in abundances and should be available to everyone at no charge. We should not fear technology replacing a human's job; we should applaud it. Current society is so ass-backwards, with it's head up said ass. We are divided and in conflict when we should be striving for global tribal unity.

It's after 10. I feel like if I go to be after 10 I'm guaranteed to sleep in until at least 8. I don't understand. Or maybe not exercising at all for an extended period of time is more taxing on the body than is understood and wears the body out in certain ways because it's not getting certain base mechanisms activated. Or something.

I need:
1. in bed by 10
2. exercise 1 hour, cardio (HIIT at least every other day) & calisthenics
3. 15 min w/ Beth
4. 15-30 min reading
5. 15-30 min journaling
6. whole plant foods

Can I make it happen?

Tomorrow:
- Have Grace type up science project
- Finish taking down Christmas decorations
- Make cookies

It's hard to set a schedule with so much variability.
Thursday, January 5th, 2017
11:08 pm
Well, I got everything done today that I had on my list, and also knocked out the couple of things from yesterday I did not get to. Didn't leave me any time to exercise or read, and I'm barely fitting this journal entry in.

Boone turns 6 tomorrow. I'm going to get my work in as soon as I drop the kids off at school and pick him up for a 12:45 movie (seeing Sing). It's supposed to get real cold this weekend and snow. Besides the movie and pizza for dinner, not much else planned, so I am hoping to get some reading in tomorrow evening. Saturday will be quiet too except that we need to knock out Grace's science project, which should only take a few hours. It will be nice for things to slow down finally. Don't think I've experienced it since early December.

Shit, I need to get cat food tomorrow. I'll have to grab it after work or the movie.
Wednesday, January 4th, 2017
10:37 pm
Everything went OK today. Ended up spending $150 total at the vet's. The cats had lost some weight, Roxy just a little, but Chaz is down to 6 lbs. It's amazing that he was at 18 lbs. at one point. Don't think food doesn't have a huge impact on health? He didn't start losing weight until I changed their food to a higher quality brand back in 2010. They recommended doing bloodwork since they are older and considering the weight loss might have a thyroid issue. I asked what happens if they found something, and they said that essentially they would be on medication for the rest of their life. Sounds fun. The cats don't need any more trauma in their lives, I've decided. They still act fine and youthful, so why fuck it up? The meds could have side effects and shorten their lives. I do want to try making them some special "treat" food--well Chaz anyway since Roxy doesn't ever seem to want to try anything new--and maybe that will get him a little more weight. Sometimes I think they are just tired of eating the same shit everyday. I would love to get Roxy on a more plant-based diet because I really think her life-long snot issues are food-allergy related.

As for the truck, the check engine light turned out to be misfiring and was cleared up with a tune up. $309. Could have been worse. Funny that I ended up spending more today than I thought but I feel better tonight than last. I guess the certainty of knowing what the cost is brings comfort and allows me to prepare. Just no more shit breaking down for a few months, OK? I got my exercise today in by jogging home and back to the shop. Feeling a little fatigued, physically and mentally, probably from the jogging and short-night's sleep last night.

Tomorrow's going to be busy, grocery shopping, work, and getting everything done for Boone's birthday tomorrow. Somehow I'll need to find time to read the remaining 120 pages of UnSpun before the book club meeting on Sunday. Hopefully we can get Grace's science project done on Saturday so that I can focus on reading Sunday afternoon. I'm too tired to read tonight. I need to get to bed.
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2017
11:04 pm
I'm unhappy. I'm pissed. Didn't journal yesterday and barely getting it in today, at the cost of sleep time. I just don't get it. I don't know what I can do better. I used to think of the lyrics from Velvet Underground's "I'm Beginning To See The Light" that say "Some people work very hard, but still they never get it right" with a bit of a smirk, but now I understand that I'm one of those people.

The A/C-heating unit for the upstairs has been acting funny the past couple of weeks, starting up then stalling after several seconds, then starting back up and stalling again. Finally had someone come out today, he said it was low on freon, which he said was unusual for newer units and to have them come out in the spring before it gets hot to check levels. If it's low then they'll need to do more extensive diagnostics to understand where it's going. Total charge today was $293. Freon for A/C is much more expensive than antifreeze, although he said he use to be much more expensive than it is now.

On top of that, I'm taking the cats in tomorrow for updated vaccinations, which I wouldn't waste my time doing because they're indoor cats and Roxy's running-away days are behind her. Not sure how much that will run but probably in $50-$100 range. And best yet, the check engine light turned on on the truck, so I get to find out what that's going to run. It's so convenient having a truck, but at this point I don't know if it will be worth it after we get a minivan, which is looking to be a certainty over the next month.

I'm beginning to think I'm never going to figure it out. I keep falling back into old routines and ruts. No exercise or reading today, no journaling yesterday. Even as I write this, I know I should not be focusing on the negative, but here I go. Life is hell, and there is no escape. I'm tired of wasting my time at a job that has no purpose, no meaning, for what? Some number of arbitrary units that I can exchange for the necessities of food and shelter and the things we do to escape this reality for a time.

(lyrics draft:
how have i become the worst creation i can own?
a dead intelligence the depths of which i can't be sure
and if i ever see myself as i am, will it show?
but if you have learned my name
we shall be one in the same
but if we should meet again
we'll see the end
an honest man begins his search for what is obvious
to many others, but to him there is no sign, no road
to twist himself down so he spends this sentry time alone)
Sunday, January 1st, 2017
12:10 pm
re: John Lennon's "Imagine"
In response to a friend's post on Facebook who felt the song was asking him to give up religion completely:

This is funny to me because a couple of weeks ago I heard his "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" song, and it resonated with me this year more than any other, so much that I have since been listening to several interviews of his from the 1970s. It's funny to me because "Imagine" is as brutally honest a song about peace on earth, and what it will take to achieve peace on earth, as there is.

True peace is SCARY because it requires a person to take a hard look at himself and realize that he is part of the problem. To many, it makes more sense to kill the messenger of peace than to kill oneself (not physically but in a figurative sense) in order to obtain an internal peace, which would subsequently resonate beyond himself to those he affects. Heaven and hell do not exist as separate, posthumous locations but rather states of mind; heaven on earth is achievable if we want it and are willing to put the hard work in.

"Imagine" suggests shedding ourselves of all the things that divide us from one another and lead to wars: nationalities, possessions (i.e. the notion of personal ownership), and religions. The core teachings from which all religions originate are essentially the same (e.g. the Golden Rule), but as most people are not willing to do the hard work on themselves, they get trapped in the institutionalized doctrine that eventually builds up around and clouds these core teachings, which doctrine is of course unique to each religion and leads people to argue and fight about whose religion is "right". Our focus naturally gravitates to what separates us, not what unifies us. The word "religion" implies division, because everyone believes something unique, but Truth is universal.
Saturday, December 31st, 2016
11:59 am
As the approaching "new year" draws near, I'm stuck wondering where I'm going from here. What should I be doing, and where can I find the time to do it? Do I need 9 hours of sleep? If I went to bed at 9 could I get up at 5 and not need as much sleep; would changing when I go to sleep affect how much sleep I need? Do I have to fit in 1 hour of exercise a day or would 30 minutes be sufficient most days? Can I work exercise in as part of something else? Should I take a risk and quite my job, with no real plan for financial compensation as our savings dwindle, as the wave of two new young children and the need for a larger vehicle (i.e. minivan) approaches?

I wish to get more involved with vegan activism, but I need a group for that; I lack the courage to do anything on my own currently. I would like to go to save vigils and help document what is happening, and see it for my own eyes.

Chaz's personality has changed significantly in the past year, and in reading The Stellar Man I wonder how much that has to do with me and my changing vibration. He has become extraordinarily curious in our food, and acts much more kitten like. He spent most of Thursday attacking wind-blown leaves through the glass window. He is much less shy and spends much more time downstairs than he ever did the first few years we lived in this house. Roxy, on the other hand, has always been the same, although August of 2015 she did randomly decide to run away for a week. Since then I've been more lenient about letting her outside, and she no longer runs away because I don't treat her like she's doing something bad.

I hate to keep putting stuff off, but there are a few things I need to go do now.
1. Make donuts. I'm going to try the chocolate cake recipe from the Vegan Baking book and see how that goes.
2. Make marinara sauce.
3. Make pizza dough.
4. Take kids to party.
5. Come home, make pizzas for dinner.
6. Make wish list and plan for 2017.

(Draft lyrics for a song I'm trying to finish since 1999:
How have I become the worst recreation I have known?
A dead intelligence that's blinds me from what I have sold
And if I ever learn to speak I will return to gold

And if you have learned my name
we shall be one in the same
but if we should meet again
we'll see the end.
...)
Friday, December 30th, 2016
9:10 am
the shadow of the imagination.
I'm in the middle or reading The Stellar Man by John Baines. It's fascinating to say the least, and I'm finding it hard to determine if in places he is being allegorical or literal. I would guess allegorical. One thing I read that I do not accept is that humans are the only animals with the "divine spark". As I see it, the same energy that animates man animates all animals. It's similar to a machine being powered on by electricity (which, from my recent understanding of electromagnetism, is really controlled magnetic discharge along a pathway): the same pure force powers all machines, but it is the construction of the machine itself that determines how that pure force manifests into a new form. Man is blessed with an exceptional imagination, one that formed through evolution as a base for tool-making, which is our biological advantage. This imagination brings with it a capacity to create unlike any other earthlife, but concordantly it bears the shadow of dreaminess which lulls us away from living in the present moment (for reasons explained in the book), from living in reality (which is the present moment). Unless we bring discipline and step out of the shadow of the imagination to maintain our presence in reality, we cannot manifest our creative force in reality. Other animals do not have this shadow to wrestle with and so forever live in the present moment. I don't think it's a coincidence that man has likened other animals to gods or made them of certain godlike attributes to aspire to. Other animals never stray from natural law.

It explains a lot, why most people refuse to accept the undeniable logic of veganism and apply to their lives, to listen to claims that the government manifests war for the sake of profit. An interesting thing is it mentioned that our mind and sex are at opposite poles to create our "orb" of discharge energy, and that the poles in men are reverse those in women (e.g. man's sex pole might be positive while women's negative). Again, this is fascinating given what I've learned about the flow of energy in a magnetic field, as when a man and woman's minds, or sex, are in alignment, this would lead to spacial voidance and acceleration of their minds/bodies together.

I'm a little frustrated that I didn't journal yesterday, but perhaps that's OK. I think I need to come to terms with that I might not be able to everyday and that maybe I need a recovery day as I would exercise my body, or that maybe I just need to take that break and focus on other things that need my time.

My goal today is to get my work in and then get the house in order, finally get all the Christmas toys upstairs. I'm starting to feel like I need to take at least three days off in order to get the house in order. Go through and reorganize the toys and closets, go through the books in storage and get rid of the ones of no value. I could easily spend an entire day just doing that. We need better storage situations in the closets.
Wednesday, December 28th, 2016
9:20 am
Yesterday was another somewhat lazy day. I ended up getting all my hours of work in early, then the kids had lunch and went to the park for a couple of hours. It was unusually warm; it looks like it will be about 10 degrees cooler today. I meant to journal at the end of it but I got wrapped up in reading The Stellar Man, which is already fascinating and I know is going to give me trouble with finishing the book for the men's book club. Fortunately that book feels like one I can power through without worry about missing much. Any book that discusses deception in advertising and media without digging into war propaganda like 9/11 and WW2 is pretty novice and may even be doing a disservice by distracting people from dealing with these hard-to-swallow truths.

Today I'm going to get a couple of hours of work in while eating breakfast, then we're going to work on getting the house in order, and if we have time maybe heading outside again. I wish to be more creative with ways to keep the kids occupied, but that's just something I will probably always be subaverage at.
Monday, December 26th, 2016
11:45 pm
beyond just being.
Whew, I haven't been this sick since I went vegan. The aches I had begun to experience Thursday and Friday manifested as a head cold/flu on Christmas Eve, and by the afternoon I was feeling shit, worn down with a headache. Somehow I powered through everything, including Eve service and the prelude song, and getting the downstairs ready for Christmas morning and the keyboard fully set up. Christmas started out OK--I took some Ibuprofen and that knocked out my headache until around 6pm. That fucking lasagna was too much work. Went to bed at 9 and got about 10 hours of sleep, woke up feeling a bit better. I remember I woke up in the middle of the night briefly with a piercing headache, but when I woke up this morning it was gone. Maybe it was a dream.

Today was relaxing: no work, and played with Grace and Boone and their new toys most of the day, very little cleaning up or anything really. Didn't even unload the dishwasher, and just ate leftovers. I at least got Grace to her Tae Kwon Do class.

Tomorrow needs to be productive in some way. I hate being off my routine. Feeling down after not having exercised in over a week--beaten and enslaved. Not sure where I'm going from here or what is worth my time.

I think people fear the truth because there is no meaning to it; things just are and what we choose to do or not do seems inconsequential over the longview. If we manage to go extinct, from our own doing or another, other life will replace us. And the earth won't be around forever. Eventually other life-bearing planets will emerge; life is an eventuality when the conditions are right. This could take trillions of years, but that would just be a blink of an eye, as time only exists in perception. With the approaching new year (or as we begin this new cycle of the sun ascension) I'm left wondering what my purpose here is, and whether there is even a point to seeking a purpose, as we are the only animals that see a need for an arbitrary purpose beyond just being.
Friday, December 23rd, 2016
10:58 pm
I got everything done today I wanted to. Cleaned out the catbox just now, got grocery shopping done and my work in before the kids got home, got downstairs clean, and took the kids out to drive around various neighborhoods to see Christmas lights, and as usual they fell asleep on the way home. Next year I'll need to remember for everyone to bring shoes and jackets, because one of the houses we looked at had a whole light village of sorts in their backyard, so to fully experience it you had to get out and walk about.

I'm still feeling run down, a little more achey than yesterday, with that sort of delirious feeling, like my equilibrium is slightly off. Slight itch to throat. If this is as bad as it gets though, all is good.

Tomorrow will be another busy one. Really should get up early, but I need the sleep. We'll see what I can get done. The morning will be all baking/cooking (lasagna, cinnamon rolls, various salad dressings, maybe buckeyes. Breakfast and lunch in there, children's service at 1:00 followed by trip to Ryan and Shelley's for their Eve party, and then back home for dinner and Eve mass, then get the kids to bed, back to church to perform a song at the 9:30 prelude for the later service, then back home to get gifts under the tree and set up the keyboard and stand. Hopefully in bed by 11.

Wish me luck, because all this running around and hoopla is getting old. Perhaps learning what I have about Jesus and Christianity this past year, and capitalism, has zapped a lot of the magic out of the season. The house we passed with "TRUMP" in Christmas lights was a nice touch.

Several days ago I recalled John Lennon's Christmas song, and it immediately resonated with me and where my understanding currently is, so I've been listening to interviews of him from around that time and after. He was woke, and his War Is Over marketing campaign was genius ... perhaps. Little has changed since then, hasn't it?
Thursday, December 22nd, 2016
7:18 pm
wrinkle-faced, balding teenagers.
Not posting until 7pm today. What's happening this week can't happen again. I haven't exercised for several days nor read. I keep thinking, well, this is a special time, special holiday, so this comes first. But no, taking care of myself needs to come first.

I did put off going to the grocery store until tomorrow. I woke up today feeling a little under the weather. I think having spent 2+ hours at the kids' school yesterday led to a giant assault on my immune system. I need to get a large chunk of the gift wrapping done tonight, but the only other time I will have will be after the kids go to bed tomorrow night. The kids are staying over at the grandparents tonight. I also need to get a grocery list together because I want to be out of the house by 8am tomorrow, that way I can be done working by the time the kids are home tomorrow, around 3pm.

It seems like the people that are overweight and/or complaining about persistent health problems are also the ones that get the most defensive when you suggest cutting animal products out of their diet. What you think you know clearly isn't working for you! Grow the fuck up and realize you don't know everything. We live in a world of wrinkle-faced, balding teenagers.
Wednesday, December 21st, 2016
6:49 pm
Car rider line, check. Time to work on pizzas, get work in, get baskets assembled and to teachers, and join kids for their winter parties. I need Marlene's address so that we can drop hers off today. And at some point this evening we will rehearse the Christmas song, I guess. I'm looking forward to being able to sleep in a little tomorrow, although we will need to get an early start, as the kids and I will need to make our Target run, and then I'll have grocery shopping, although it may be worth pushing that to Friday since the kids will still be with Beth's parents until after lunch that day, although that would mean I would be working that afternoon after the kids are home.
Tuesday, December 20th, 2016
2:42 pm
Posting late today. We had a meeting with DSS (C & K's placement specialists) this morning, and I got caught cleaning and getting work in beforehand.

I got everything done yesterday except the baskets, which we will do tonight. As it turned out, I also needed to make apple butter, and the one batch I made wasn't enough so I'm making the second batch today. Besides that and getting the baskets together, that's it for today. I was originally going to rehearse a song for Christmas Eve with Steve K. and company after ensemble rehearsal tonight, but that's been rescheduled for tomorrow. I do need to make the kids' pizzas tonight so that I just have to heat them up in the oven tomorrow when getting to go visit them for their winter parties.

Right now I need to finish one more search for work before making rice so that it is ready when get home from Grace's piano lesson so that she can eat right away before her martial arts. Tuesdays are a bit of a grind. I'll be glad to get a couple weeks off.
Monday, December 19th, 2016
8:50 am
gender of power.
Reminder to self: Do not bite off more than you can chew. Stop putting too much on your plate that no one will ultimately care about. Yes, I am talking about Christmas baking. Just make a bunch of buckeyes, because that's all that people care about. If there is something you really personally want to try, then go for it, but just ONE thing.

Today I need to finish the gingerbread cookies I started; they just need to rolled out, cut, and baked. Easier said than done, though. Muffins need to get done, and I need run out to Harris Teeter today to find vegan-friendly sugar cookies, since Boone's teacher just alerted me that had to be store-bought and gave me the tip of checking Harris Teeter. Assuming I get all the baking done, then the gift baskets can go out tomorrow, so those would then need to be prepared tonight:
1. Gingerbread cookies (eat breakfast)
2. Go to HT for sugar cookies
3. Work (eat lunch)
4. Muffins
5. Dinner and help kids get homework done
6. Take Grace to belt ceremony
7. Prepare baskets

Yesterday a Facebook post reminded me of the epiphany I had a few months ago, of how much women are oppressed in modern society, even in western culture. I'm not so much talking about rights that man-made laws try to take away, but the Feminine side of our nature (all creatures, including men) that women, being the physical embodiment of feminine, are generally more in touch and aligned with. Christianity has literally killed the female out of the holy trinity: the Feminine element has been turned into a "ghost"/"spirit", and the Son should be an androgynous figure. This is a man's world, in which man has used their physical superiority and taken advantage of women's Care and tendency to allow things to be and play out without interfering, as that is how one Loves, by letting go, to position themselves as the gender of power, because subconsciously we (men) know we are the inept ones.
Sunday, December 18th, 2016
7:47 am
Today it's church followed by the children's Christmas pageant and a reception of sorts, lunch, hockey game, back home for gingerbread house making (which I probably won't be doing) and baking, which will include the fudge I didn't get done yesterday, two different sets of muffins, gingerbread cookies, apple butter (which hopefully Beth will do). Needless to say I don't think I'm going to fit in exercise again today, maybe some calisthenics toward the end of the day.

It's Sunday so don't have much time to add. I woke up and it's 63 degrees outside, and will be for the rest of the day. Yesterday and tomorrow it will be freezing, but today it's 63! I'll be glad when this week's over. Christmastime is too flippin' busy.
Saturday, December 17th, 2016
9:58 am
no more wasted time.
Today Grace is testing for her purple belt. I've already dropped her off, but left to fill up the car and swap it for the truck so Beth could use it. Now I'm stuck in the driveway waiting for the ice on the window to melt. It has been unseasonably cold this time of the year. I think. Yesterday I don't think it got out of the 30s. It seems we don't see that type of weather until January, usually.

After testing, I'm going to need to get started on Christmas baking. Which reminds me, I need to pull the vegan butter out of the fridge out to soften. One sec. I'm going to have to find time to make pizza. We are also watching C & K tonight and through most of tomorrow. I at least want to get the buckeyes done today, and the fudge too. Tomorrow is going to be hectic because we have a hockey game to go to; together with church in the morning it will take up pretty much the whole day. And I guess we're hosting gingerbread house making tomorrow, too.

OK, made it to testing. Need to teach Grace how to do a proper squat. A proper push-up may be a lost cause for the time being. While testing is going on I was hoping to review our budget, which has been on my to-do list for a few weeks. I like to review it at least once a year, preferably twice. I keep hoping that one of these times I can figure out how to make it work with me quitting my job.

If I'm going to get serious about music, I have to find time to work on lyrics. I don't know if I need to forego journaling every other day and use that time for lyric writing. But I need to work it out. Music is the only thing I have to offer, at least that I can see, that has a chance of affecting change.

As I've said previously, I'm a little disappointed with vegan attire, nothing really is my style. So I'm thinking more seriously about starting my own chain of shirts, if for nothing else so that I have shirts that are my style. Probably the same reason I like to cut my own hair now. It may not look all that great, but at least it's my body reflect the work of my own hand, so that I only represent me.

When I find myself with time and unsure of how to spend it (yes, it's rare, but it happens, and it throws me off as it's not part of the routine and thus paralyzes me and I end up defaulting to watching youtube videos or perusing Facebook and wasting it), I'm going to open LiveJournal and begin gathering my thoughts until I figure it out. No more wasted time.

I live in a world of wrinkled children. People die without having ever grown up, spending their whole lives drinking, going to parties, burning hours at a pointless job where they shut their minds and maturation off, while the world degrades and decays around them. Welcome to the desert of the real. Objective truth exists. Natural law exists. Everything we do, or fail to do, has consequences.

Maybe I should update my LJ pics if I'm going to be journaling so much, smiley face.
Friday, December 16th, 2016
8:52 am
auditory symbols.
After I mention I'm starting to own my asshole-ish nature, the same day I stumble upon a consolatory video that, among other things, I think helps to explain why people tend to avoid me or be turned off by me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVeXKxqBmic).

"You start to become aware that people are subconsciously programmed to automatically hate you because you are awake. They don't even know why; they just don't like you.... You are not one of them and they can just sense that. They're not even aware that they are following this programming but it bothers them. Just the fact that you are open-minded and exploring makes you dangerous."

I should note that even those of us that do cherish truth above all else and savor the search for it are susceptible to spiritual pride and should be aware of falling into that trapdoor before achieving sufficient knowledge. The ALL is in all, but we are not the ALL. All is infinite in worth. We are all united, and only in seeking truth can we better affect change in the ALL.

I believe we make a mistake in teaching children about things before they have had a chance to wonder at the thing and seek information about the thing themselves. And then what do we teach them but the name of the thing, as if we are teaching something about the thing itself. But the name is just an auditory symbol; like any symbol, the name is just a tool for communication: it only teaches us about us humans, not the thing itself.

For example: "Do you see that round ball in the sky? That's the moon." In learning the name, we have not learned anything about the moon itself beyond what our perceptions have already taught us. How is it that it wasn't until this year that I learned that the moon rotates at the same rate it revolves around the earth, so that we always see the same face and never see the other half? That is extraordinary! There is a side to the moon we will never see (from earth, at least).

I've always had trouble remembering people's names, and now I understand why: I've never put much stock into them, because they don't actually teach me anything about the person. (I suppose that's the same reason I don't care for small talk.) A name is just a tool, which allows for more efficient communication. One must pierce through the tapestry of symbols weaved by humanity to find truth.
Wednesday, December 14th, 2016
8:59 am
the blitz is on.
I stayed up a little too late last night re-researching keyboards, trying to determine if the PX-150 was right or if I should pay the extra $20 for the newer model, which seems to have slightly better speakers and not much else, and then what accessories I should get for it (seat, stand, pedals). The good news is I found a bundle (through Kraft music) that makes it cheaper to get the newer model and everything I need along with an extra set of headphones and lesson book than to get the older model and buying the pedals and stand separately. I just now pulled the plug and made the order. Interesting that they didn't charge tax either.

Christmas always feels like a blitz. We hemorrhage money, and I'm often left wondering is it worth it? I feel like we've gotten better about just focusing on getting what need or something may not exactly need but really do want and will get use out of, possibly changing our lives for the better, and in these cases I'm OK because we would be getting these things eventually anyway, and Christmas just provides the impetus. I feel like this keyboard is like that (and same with the camping gear). The whole family will be able to use it (for now it will be pretty much only Grace as she is taking lessons) and learn/practice on it. I'm getting several books, some cookbooks, and new AllClad saute pan to replace the warped, decrepit one I'm still using. The cookbooks are cuisine specific (Indian, Mexican, Caribbean), so I'm hoping I will better understand these cuisines that I love and get more creative. I feel like the non-specific hodgepodge cookbooks are disadvantageous because each cuisine has its specific ingredients and spices, and you don't want to invest in a bunch of pricey ingredients for just a couple of recipes.

Beth says we don't have enough gifts for Boone so I will be researching some gifts for him later today. Specifically:
1. Something engineer-minded.
2. Easy-reader books on topics he may enjoy.
3. Puppets or something that would assist his stories and missions he has Grace help him put on.
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